This post has nothing to do with Miami Beach real estate, but it is soooo good—I just had to.  I’m sorry.

New “reality” TV show about Miami (well, they really mean South Beach) premieres July 14th on Bravo.

Here are some doosie quotes that almost make me embarrased to live in Miami. Could you EVER imagine EVER uttering any of these quotes?

  • “I’m not straight but I don’t consider myself gay” [said with HUGE lisp]
  • “We’re like the most fabulous circle in Miami” [so…I’m the most fabulous polygon in Miami!]
  • “Get the fat girl out of my table” [again, said with aforementioned HUGE lisp]
  • “So much is based upon your looks….” [Katrina, you should know better than to utter that shit ON CAMERA]
  • “Don’t tell me to shut up” [you know the LISP thing again]
  • “I am probably the most incredible fashion produers here in Miami” [Um, hello, there is no fashion scene in Miami–so, maybe it is true]